The Back Of My Head
by AllSignsPointToBreezi
Summary: Gemma and Andy are best friends. They share everything and dont keep secrets.. at least not until now. Andy's band short stack is an up and coming sucess and life couldnt feel more perfect until gemma finds his song, the back of my head...
1. Mrs Clemmensen's Piano

"It's over there, if you want to look at it." Mrs Clemmensen told me, gesturing across her living room at a spectacular grand piano.  
>"Thank you." I said walking towards it. "It looks very old."<br>"It was my grandmother's."  
>"Oh, did she play?"<br>"Yes, very well. It's something of a family heirloom, that piano."

It wasn't uncommon for me to be here. I was a family friend of the Clemmensens and I spent many an afternoon chatting with Andy's grandmother, Eva. Today, she'd told me she was selling her piano, I'd asked her why and I still hadn't gotten a direct answer. I had been one of Andy's best friend's for almost ten years now. We met in primary school and we'd been through everything together.

I sat down on the piano stool running my hands along the keys and then I started to play the first thing that came to mind; Andy's song _The Back of My Head. _He'd written it about a year ago when he was fifteen. He was very good on the piano and he'd taught me everything I knew.  
>"Oh, I know that song." Mrs Clemmensen said. "What's it called again."<br>"It's _The Back of My Head, _Mrs Clemmensen, Andy wrote it."  
>"Oh right," she said now. "I remember when he wrote that."<br>"You do?" I had no idea.  
>"Oh, yes, he wrote it right there in that very corner." She paused as if remembering something. "I was cleaning that the other day and I found this." She held out to me a small folded square of paper.<br>I took it. "What is this?" I asked.  
>"Just look." She told me and so I did. I unfolded the square to reveal a music sheet and on it written in faint pencil in Andy's tiny hand writing was the music and lyrics for <em>the Back of My Head<em>.  
>"Oh my goodness," I gasped. "But why are you giving this to me… I mean why not Andy."<br>"Because… she said if you looked closely you'd realised he wanted you to have it."  
>I was confused so I looked again and just below the song title was written <em>for Gemma Grace. <em>I was so shocked… I knew what this song was about, it was so depressing really but it brought back so many memories of all of the times Andy and I sung this song together, when he was teaching it to me. "I-I had no idea." I blinked back my tears and handed it back to Mrs Clemmensen. She didn't take it.  
>"He wanted you to have it." She told me.<br>O-okay." I said but I was unconvinced; if Andy wanted me to have this, he would've given it to me. "Mrs Clemmensen, I have to go." I said and without even waiting for a farewell I rushed out to my car, feeling suddenly safe in the enclosed space. I had to see Andy… where would he be. Working, maybe.

I usually would've left Andy be at work, but today, under these circumstances, things were different. As I pulled into a carpark outside the Budgewoi pizza place I was almost too nervous to go inside… but I had to, Andy needed to know I had found his song and I needed to know why he wrote it for me of all people.  
>"Andy?" As I entered, the doorbell chimed. I saw Tom, one of the guys Andy worked with, at the counter.<br>"Hey." He said. "I'm surprised to see you here."  
>"I know." I told him "But this is an emergency, I wouldn't be here if it wasn't."<br>Tom didn't answer this he just turned around and called "Andy!"  
>Andy came rushing to the front, his blonde hair a mess. "Hey." He grinned when he saw me.<br>I suddenly felt very awkward; what could I say to him? "Do you ever brush your hair?" I managed.  
>"Maybe… so what's up?"<br>I froze. I hadn't thought this through, at all. What could I say? "Um it's nothing, sorry I came." I turned.  
>"Hey, wait," Andy said. "I thought we didn't keep secrets."<br>"Well…" I said, here goes. "That's just the thing, I thought so too."  
>"What?" Andy looked confused.<br>I pulled the folded paper from my pocket. "Look," I said. "I know you're busy, so I'll cut straight to the chase. I found this." I held out the square to Andy as his grandmother had done to me only minutes before.  
>"What's this?" he asked.<br>"Look." I told him. He did and as he read through it he froze.  
>"Gem, I never-<br>"What you never told me?"  
>"Well-<br>"Why, Andrew? I thought we were friends."  
>"We are." Andy said, he knew I only called him Andrew when I was upset with him.<br>"It's just like you said, Andrew, friends don't keep secrets." I said icily as I stepped out of the shop, the bell chiming behind me.  
>I started to cry and then I heard Andy's voice behind me. "Wait, Gem, I can explain."<br>"I don't want to know." I said.  
>"But… don't leave."<br>I turned around to face Andy. He was closer than I thought; right in front of me. "Why?" I asked. "Give me one good reason."  
>"I love you… is that good enough."<br>This hit me very hard and very suddenly. It was all too much, I broke down crying. Andy put his arms around me. "Hey," he said "It's okay."  
>"That's just it though," I choked. "It isn't."<br>"Let's go inside." Andy told me "Where it's warmer."


	2. Too Much To Handle

"Andy, I can't believe you never told me."  
>"I know I should've but… I guess I just couldn't you know?"<br>"No, I don't know. I mean, if we really are friends than why couldn't you tell me? We tell each other everything."  
>"Except this."<br>"Why not?" Fresh tears sprang to my eyes and rolled down my cheeks. "Andy, you know you can tell me."

The whole room was silent. We were at Andy's house, his Mum was in the kitchen apparently making coffee but it was taking her a long time. The living room was large and it felt like home. I was quite jealous of Andy and his family. They were all so close and most of them got along. My family was different. My father left when I was young; about three or four. I never saw much of my mother; she was always out, working or at the pub. I'd pretty much been on my own until I met Andy.  
>"I don't know." Andy hung his head and then looked down at his hand, on my knee and knotted his fingers through mine. I pulled my hand away.<br>"Well you're the only one who does." I said accusingly.  
>"But I don't!" Andy protested.<br>"Then who would, Andy? Please, just tell me. There's a reason; there is always a reason. I don't care what it is, I need to know!"  
>"No," Andy told me. "You want to know and I don't want to tell you."<br>"Why not?" I pleaded.  
>"Because," Andy said. "You're my best friend and I'm you're only friend." He just stared at me for a few long seconds and then said. "I'd rather you didn't know, for our sake."<p>

I just watched Andy as he stood, staring into my eyes before he turned and started up the stairs to his room. I felt so angry. After everything we'd been through together and he didn't trust me enough to tell me. "I HATE YOU." I screamed after him. "YOU'RE A JERK!" 

When I got back to Shaun's house – Shaun was my boyfriend and I spent most of my time at his place - he was surprised to see my so upset. He had been writing a song (ironically enough) in his room. I didn't even knock, just walked in and collapsed beside him on the bed. Shaun put his guitar down and stroked my hair. "Hey, are you okay."  
>I nodded into his shirt but I couldn't stop crying. "You're not are you?" I nodded again, feeling this was all I was capable of.<br>"What happened?"  
>I didn't answer at first but then said; "I don't really wanna talk about it."<br>Shaun nodded. "Okay. We can talk when you're ready."  
>"No," I choked crying again. "I can't tell you; it's something me and Andy have to work out."<br>"You and Andy?" Shaun looked suspiciously at me. "Gem, what's this about?"  
>"I told you, I don't wanna talk about it, 'k?"<br>"Gemma, tell me now." Shaun scared me, using my full name.  
>"You don't need to know."<br>"Yes, I do I'm your boyfriend and I care about you."  
>"Well, stop caring. This whole stupid thing started because of you! It's your fault and now poor Andy has to suffer while he watches his best friend with the girl he loves." I paused. I had said too much.<br>"Gemma… I- what's going on? Tell me… now!"  
>"Listen Shaun, I'd love to tell you but I can't because I don't know!" I started crying again. "After everything we've been through, it seems Andy doesn't trust me enough to tell me."<br>Shaun cuddled me. "Baby, I'm so sorry, I had no idea."  
>"I don't what to do!" I cried into his shirt.<br>"Maybe you should talk to Andy." He suggested.  
>"I've tried that, Andy doesn't want to talk… maybe you should try."<br>"Honey, I don't think Andy wanted you to tell me, he can't know that I know."  
>"You're right." I admitted. "But I'm so stuck."<p>

I stared down at my hands and then I noticed a music sheet on Shaun's knee. "What's this?"  
>Shaun blushed. He didn't like people to see his songs. "Nothing, just something I'm writing. It doesn't have a name yet."<br>"Oh," I read the first line; _Bled dry, a bullet never lies, look into my eyes girl, would I lie to you?_  
>"You wanna hear it?" He asked.<br>"Sure." I said.

I sat there a listened to Shaun sing, not paying attention to it but instead thinking of Andy. How long had he felt this way? Why hadn't I seen it before? He needed me and some part of me needed him. But I had Shaun and I loved Shaun… lots. I was stuck, really stuck but I figured what I needed was Mrs Diviney.

She was sitting at the kitchen table; a cup of peppermint tea (I could smell it) clutched in both her hands, an unfolded basket of washing beside her, looking defeated. When I approached her she sighed as I picked up Shaun's Blink 182 shirt of the top of the pile and folded it carefully.  
>"You don't have to do that." She told me.<br>"I don't mind." I answered picking up another of Shaun's t-shirts. He seemed to wear a lot of clothes.  
>Mrs Diviney watched me. "I washed that one yesterday." She sighed.<br>"Wouldn't surprise me." I said. "Mrs Diviney, can I talk to you?"  
>"Sure," She said, pulling out a chair beside her. I refused it, folding an orange towel this time. "What's on your mind."<br>"It's complicated." I told her. "I've just been to visit Andy and…" I trailed of.  
>"And?"<br>"Well, he… he likes me… a lot."  
>Mrs Diviney nodded. "I think I know where this is going."<br>I was relieved. "And when I told Shaun … he said I should talk to Andy about it but…"  
>Mrs Diviney was still watching me intently listening. I placed Shaun's jeans, folded, on top of the pile.<br>"But, I tried, Mrs Diviney and Andy doesn't want to talk about it."  
>"So what now?" Mrs Diviney asked. She clearly didn't get it.<br>"Mrs Diviney… have you heard Andy's song he wrote?"  
>"Yes, what about it?" I pulled the folded square from my pocket and handed it to her. She unfolded it carefully and studied it closely. She folded it again placing it on the table. "I see…" she said vaguely as if this conversation had drained her energy. "You're in a bit of fix aren't you, Gemma?"<p> 


	3. Half The Reason

"Why?" Andy said icily shooting me a foul look.  
>"I had to tell her Andy. I was scared."<br>"Oh boo-hoo. Don't start this soppy romantic crap with me."  
>"Oh you're one to talk!" I spat. "Were you not the one who was like 'Oh I love you, I'm so sorry'" I said the last bit in a high voice Andy didn't even have.<br>"Well, here's the thing; I lied."  
>I felt so hurt and couldn't think of a smart comeback but thankfully I was saved by Mrs Diviney entering with Andy's mum. After I'd told Mrs Diviney about our… argument earlier, she'd immediately called Andy's mum, Michelle to bring Andy around. She'd said and I directly quote 'It's seems Andy and Gemma have had a misunderstanding'. She couldn't be further from the truth and quite frankly I didn't want anyone to hear the truth.<p>

We were sitting at Kylie's (Shaun's mum aka Mrs Diviney) kitchen table. Andy was sitting across from me and Shaun was on one side of me. Andy looked jealously at him as Kylie took a seat on my other side and Michelle sat next to Andy.  
>"What's your problem, lover boy?" Shaun spat. He wasn't happy with Andy liking me. In a way I didn't blame him but I kind of felt sorry for Andy. He must have felt so small.<br>"What's yours?" Andy spat back pathetically.  
>"Don't have one." Shaun said casually. "Just thinking how jealous you'd be that my family's so perfect and yours is just broken. You have no clue; you couldn't even keep a goldfish let alone a friend."<br>"TAKE THAT BACK!" Andy stood up fists at the ready. "YOU TAKE THAT BACK NOW; YOU'RE JUST A SPOILED BASTARD, YOU WOULDN'T KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE."  
>Shaun laughed. "Oh, let's all feel sorry for Andy; his parents split up and now the girl who he sooo in love with hates him? What will he do? Well, that's just it, I don't care!"<br>"SHAUN! Go to your room now!" Kylie screamed at him.  
>Michelle interrupted. "He needs to hear this Kylie." And then she turned to Andy. "Andrew, sit down." Andy did as he was told, mumbling angrily under his breath.<br>"So," Michelle started. "What's going on here?"  
>Andy looked into his lap. Shaun was silent. I didn't want to talk but I suppose I had no choice. "Andrew," I said angrily my voice already rising. "Thinks he can just keep the biggest freaking secret in the world from me and I'll be okay with it!"<br>Kylie spoke now. "Shell, read this." She handed Michelle the folded square. Andy snatched it away from her.  
>"That's mine!" He shouted angrily, holding it against his chest as if it were a baby.<br>"Andy," Michelle said gently stroking his hair. He shook her hand away. "Baby, let Mummy have a look."  
>"Mum, don't call me baby and I don't call you Mummy, so why say it?"<p>

I wanted to interrupt. I knew when they were alone Andy did call Michelle mummy. But I didn't want to embarrass him even if he had been a jerk to me. Andy was bright red but still handed the paper over to Michelle. He looked close to tears as Michelle read it through carefully.  
>"Oh dear." She said finally after reading it several times. "This is a problem…"<br>"IT'S MORE THAN A PROBLEM!" Shaun screamed. "HE'S BEEN SNEAKING AROUND WITH MY GIRLFRIEND!"  
>"I have not!" Andy cried defensively. "I just ..." he looked into his lap again. "I love her."<br>I wanted to say 'I love you too, Andy.' But that would make Shaun upset so I was quiet. There was silence until Michelle said; "I want to know exactly what's going on." She was looking directly at Andy. "And you're going to tell us or you're grounded forever."  
>Andy looked at her and then at all of us. "Mum, Shaun's my best friend and so is Gem. I'm happy for them really… just sometimes I get a little jealous. What you want to hear is some crap about how much it hurts to see them. I'm not going to tell you because I would honestly rather spend the rest of my life grounded than hurt them."<br>Michelle wasn't impressed. She grabbed a fistful of Andy's blonde wavy hair and yanked it hard. He groaned in pain. "Tell me now Andrew or I'll send you to live with your Father and the home wrecker." The home wrecker was Bradie's mum, Andy's step mum. She honestly wasn't that bad but Andy didn't like her and neither did Michelle, understandably.  
>"Okay." Andy sighed. "I'll tell you."<br>"Well, go ahead." Shaun said. "This should be good."  
>This clearly didn't make Andy feel any better. He swallowed hard. "It's true," he began. "I wrote it for Gem because I tried so hard to be happy for her but I couldn't be. I had to do something and I didn't want to hurt her." He looked back into his lap and tears rolled down his cheeks. He didn't look up as he said. "I'm sorry I did it, can we just forget the whole thing?"<br>Michelle patted his back. "Baby, it's okay." Andy hugged her back.  
>Andy sobbed, wiped his eyes and then said. "Mum, can we go home now?"<br>"In a sec," She said and then looked at Kylie. "I have a feeling that that's not the whole story but I think what Andy really needs is a good rest."  
>"Or a good bashing." Shaun muttered under his breath.<p>

Michelle took Andy home, Shaun went back to his room and I just sat in silence at Kylie's kitchen table. I felt sorry for Andy, really and I knew it made him uncomfortable for him to talk about it but I wanted the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.  
>"Are you okay?" It was Kylie and she had Tim Tams and hot Milo.<br>"Yeah," I said pulling out a chair beside me for her.  
>"I know it's hard, but you don't have to worry we'll sort it out and you can go back to normal."<br>"It's not me I'm worried about… it's Andy."  
>"Sweetie, he-<br>"He's my friend and I love him. This whole thing is my fault. It's all my fault Mrs Diviney. I hurt Andy."


	4. A Stupid Mistake

None of us spoke about what had happened. Shaun forgave Andy, begrudgingly but it meant nothing as far as the rumours circulating around the school were concerned. The latest rumour was that I'd left Shaun for Andy (complete rubbish!) and nothing any of us could say or do would stop it.

A few weeks ago Andy and Shaun had given up trying to make it all better and now they didn't even talk to each other if they could help it and when they couldn't they spoke to each other as though the other one was dirt. I didn't have any real contact with Andy either. Michelle had kept the song hidden away and for a good reason too; so if we didn't want everyone to know the truth we had nothing to talk about… until one day…

It was after school and I was waiting for Bradie so that we could walk home together. I lived near Bradie and we'd been walking to and from school since year seven. He was definitely taking his time…  
>"Gem?" I spun around to see Andy. I didn't know how to feel. I was angry at him for avoiding me but I did miss him lots, so I decided to be nice.<br>"Hey, Andy," I smiled, hoping he would feel better.  
>"Can I talk to you?"<br>"About what?" I asked.  
>"Well, it's kind of a lot and Mum wants to see you about something."<br>"What?"  
>"You'll see."<br>"Andrew, tell me." I practically screamed this, "I'm sick of your secrets!"  
>"Fine!" He turned away. "Don't come… I thought you were my friend; I thought you cared."<br>"I do care! "I felt hurt. "And besides, I could say the same thing to you!"  
>"What?" Andy looked outraged. "I'm not the one who decided I might just ditch my best friend for some stuck up jerk who doesn't even care!"<br>It took a minute for my brain to register that Andy had insulted Shaun. "Shaun is not stuck up! And I didn't ditch you. You stopped talking to me!"  
>"Yeah sure," Andy said. "Whatever… you coming."<br>I decided I'd better go. "Fine." I said, "Just let me text Shaun."  
>I arranged for Shaun to pick me up at five and we set off towards Andy's house.<p>

I was at Andy's house, sitting on his couch and feeling very awkward. Why? Because Michelle didn't want to talk to me, in fact she wasn't even there. "Why?" I asked Andy.  
>His answer shocked me. "I wanted to be alone with you."<br>"So you tricked me into coming home with you?"  
>"You wouldn't come otherwise…" Andy said.<br>"Why do you even want to be alone with me?"  
>"Because… there's no one else here so I can say what I want to you and no one will say anything about it."<br>This was a fair statement. "Don't you think Shaun will be upset about us being alone together for so long?"  
>"Not unless we give him something to be upset about..." Andy gave me a mischievous grin and I had an idea that now would be a good time to leave, so I stood up and turned towards the door.<br>"Where are you going?" Andy asked. "Come back... or you'll make me sad."  
>"I don't care." I reached for the door handle but next thing I knew I was squashed between Andy and the wall. "Ah, let me go!" I protested.<br>"Why?" Andy asked. "We're alone; nobody's gonna know."  
>"Except Shaun." I looked Andy straight in the eye as I said this. "Do you want to give him a reason to be upset?"<br>Andy wrapped his arms around my waist. "Maybe." He whispered and next thing I knew he was kissing me… and kissing me and no matter what I did I couldn't get him off me; so I made the stupidest most crazy, wonderful decision of my life: I kissed him back.

Five o'clock came quickly and we were back on the couch; Andy's arms around me and mine around his neck. I had no idea of the time, so id decided to check my phone. I had three missed calls from Shaun. Crap. And the time… five o'clock, double crap.  
>"One more kiss?" Andy asked.<br>"Andy, Shaun will be here soon, no."  
>"But, if you love me…" He looked into my eyes; how could I say no.<br>"O-ok then…" And he kissed me again and again and… the door opened. In the split second I had to think I hoped it was just Mrs Clemmensen because Andy was still kissing me and I was kissing him…  
>"Gem?"<br>Even before I looked at Shaun I could tell he was close to tears. I felt so guilty.  
>I pulled away from Andy and looked up at him. The first thing I noticed was my lipstick on his cheek. Tears welled up in my eyes. This wasn't happening. Andy let me go but I immediately went to hold him tighter before realising what was happening. Andy pulled me away from him and got up, brushing past Shaun as he climbed the stairs to his room. "I-I…" I tried to speak as I looked at Shaun but my voice was broken, there was no excuse this time.<br>"I hate you." He said coldly. "I trusted you to leave you with him and this is what you do?"  
>"But-<br>"No buts." I noticed he wasn't using my name anymore. "Don't come around anymore, OK; we're through." And Shaun turned to leave.  
>I stood and rushed after Shaun but as I reached out for him, he pushed me away and I fell onto the cold stone tiles in the adjacent dining room. "No." he said and that was the last I saw if him.<p>

For a long time I stayed where I landed and cried and soon enough I decided that crying was for babies and it never solved anything. I had to talk to Andy. Now that Shaun was gone I needed someone to talk to.

The journey up the stairs had never felt longer or more painful, but at long last when I reached Andy's bedroom door I knocked and then noticed the door was slightly ajar. I pushed it open. "Andy?" I called.


	5. The Aftermath

"Andy!" I screamed through my tears shaking him furiously. "Andy; wake up!"

I was sick with worry and the ambulance still wasn't here. Andy was lying on the floor, unconscious, an empty packet of sleeping pills beside him. He wasn't breathing properly, like something was caught in his throat. It was all my fault; I realised this now and I was ashamed that I didn't have the guts to call Michelle.  
>"I'm so sorry… I swear." I screamed again shaking him harder. "Andrew! Andrew Clemmensen… wake up right now!"<p>

I stared down at him holding his hand, listening to him breathe which felt like the best sound in the world right now; until… Silence, not a sound and now I quit breathing. Andy wasn't breathing either.  
>"No! Please don't die. I love you!" I knew this wouldn't help but it was the only thing I could do. "Your mum loves you; Bradie loves you! You can't die now! Please! It's so unfair!"<p>

The world seemed to slow down; I felt dizzy and sick. Every sound I heard became muffled and distant. I collapsed beside Andy squeezing his hand. He couldn't be dead, he just couldn't be. I closed my eyes and the distant sound of sirens filled my ears.

The paramedics rushed upstairs as soon as they arrived and found me curled up to Andy on the floor. One of them shook me awake and asked if I was okay. I told them I was fine; they needed to help Andy.

I'd had no choice. I'd had to call Michelle; and now here we were; crowded around Andy. After she asked me what had happened, I couldn't help myself and I told her everything; about me, about Shaun; about everything. She was ashamed of Andy but too upset at almost losing her son to be angry at him. I'd never felt more guilty. It was _my_ fault, not Andy's.  
>"I have to go." I said to Michelle. "I'll be back later."<br>She didn't answer. "Bye." I said.

I'd had no clue where to go, so I decided to go to the only person I could talk to; Bradie. Bradie was Andy's step-brother but you'd swear they were brothers. They were just so… friendly towards one another. Yeah, they fought but doesn't everyone. Bradie was the same age as me, seventeen; two years younger than Andy and one year younger than Shaun. We were both in the same year as Shaun because our birthdays are early in the year (Bradie's is March and mine is January). I had never had much to do with Bradie. To me, in a way, he was just there; another person to have to get along with. But in more ways than one I wanted to be friends with Bradie; I just didn't know how to be. But in any case I always knew I could talk to him; he'd always made that clear.

I rang the doorbell. Bradie, his Mum, Yvonne and Andy's dad, Gary lived not far from Andy in a little terraced house where their neighbours were practically on their doorstep. Andy didn't live here; he hadn't since he'd decided to live with his mother when he was fourteen. Bradie answered the door and looked surprised to see me here. Bradie was a very subtle person but he was never outspoken.  
>"Hey," he said holding the door open for me. I stayed put, "I heard."<br>"You did?" I stepped over the threshold.  
>"Yeah, from Mum."<br>"Well it's probably not how you heard it but you get the general idea."  
>"I think so."<br>We walked down the hallway towards the kitchen which was at the back of the house. "Is your Mum home…or Gary?"  
>"Nah, just me."<br>"Oh. So, what did you hear?"  
>Well," Bradie seemed reluctant as though he didn't want to say anything out of place. "I heard that you were cheating." And then he added rather quickly. "But that's totally ridiculous, right?"<br>"Right." I said trying not to sound too half-hearted.  
>"And I heard that Shaun's really pissed and that Andy tried to…" Bradie stopped. I said nothing. "He tried to hurt himself."<br>Typical, captain understatement. "So that's what you heard?"  
>"Yeah, I mean I know it's totally whack and all that but that's how I heard it."<br>"It is totally whack," I paused, looking out through the lace curtains of the kitchen window and took a seat in a chair. "But you know what's even more whack is that your Mum actually got it right for once.  
>Bradie looked shocked. True, Yvonne was the resident gossiper. Her life revolved around taking stories and twisting them in to scandals. She rarely gave the whole story; only the bad bits and she added in her own little details to make it worse. But this time, it seemed that even Yvonne couldn't make this worse so she'd told it straight out. "I can't believe you did that." Bradie said simply. There was no hint of anger in his voice, no sign of betrayal.<br>"Me neither. I mean, I don't want to seem like I think I'm a total angel but Andy…"  
>"It doesn't matter what I heard okay?" I looked at Bradie. Was he really just accepting this? Why wasn't he upset? "But I do want to hear your version of things."<br>"Well after school the other day when you were… well late; he came up to me and told me that Michelle wanted to talk to me."  
>"Yeah, sorry about that… got kept in."<br>I shook my head. "Anyway, he convinced me to go home with him, of course, Michelle wasn't there and Andy… took advantage of that… but you know what's worse. I let him and…" I trailed off, tears in my eyes. "I enjoyed it."  
>"Hey," Bradie put his arm around my shoulders. "You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to."<br>"But I want to." I straightened up, took a deep breath and brushed away the tears. "So, Shaun came and found us. Naturally, he wasn't happy and we had a massive argument, during which Andy disappeared to his room and then Shaun left. I felt so upset so I went up to talk to Andy. Then, I found him…"


	6. A Life Changing Decision

"Bleh," Andy said. "This hospital food tastes like-  
>"Andy, Shhh." I giggled. "If you be good I'll go buy you something later."<br>"If I be good?" He raised an eyebrow.  
>"Yes," I said. "Now eat your… what is that?" It was sad I honestly couldn't tell what Andy was eating. Maybe that was because had mauled it so much or maybe it was because he could only eat certain things while he was here and most of them I'd never seen or heard of before.<p>

So after I'd finished at Bradie's place he'd driven me back to the hospital. I had ended up telling Bradie about the song as well. I felt lots better after talking to somebody about it. Shaun hadn't come to see Andy yet. I felt sorry for him; he must feel so guilty; I know I would. Michelle was out having coffee with Kylie and I was curious to know about how the Diviney's were handling things. I decided I should see him later but I didn't want another fight to happen.  
>"Hey, Andy."<br>He swallowed a mouthful of stuff and looked up. "Yeah?"  
>"Would you be okay if… if I went to see Shaun later."<br>"Yeah sure suit yourself… but why?"  
>This was touchy. "Umm, well I feel kind of sorry for him… he must feel a bit guilty about what happened."<br>Andy stopped even pretending to eat. "Why should he?"  
>"Umm because he upset you."<br>"And?" Andy said defensively. "What's new? He upsets me all the time."  
>"But, this time he really-<br>"Whatever I don't care. Just go."  
>"I can stay here a bit lo-<br>"No, just go." He said angrily. "You don't care anyway."  
>"I do care!" I felt like I was about to cry.<br>"No you don't. Because if you did, you'd stay."  
>"Andy, please! I'll be quick, I swear."<br>"He hurt you, Gem… again. He hurts you all the time and you put up with it! Why?"  
>"He's never hurt me."<br>"Gemma, you were bleeding… and crying! That means you're hurt!"  
>"Andy I was scared, I didn't-<br>"What, you didn't think Shaun was like that? Well, I've got a newsflash for you. Shaun can be a total jerk when he wants to be and you know what… you let him do it!"  
>"I don't Andy, if Shaun hurt me I'd tell somebody."<br>"Oh, really… who've you told?"  
>"No one because h-<br>"Gemma, just shut up!" Andy spat. "Just go back to your stupid boyfriend, okay. I don't care."  
>"You do, Andy." I said. "You don't want me to go because your upset at Shaun and I understand that but I'm trying to make you understand that Shaun-<br>"What would you know about Shaun that I don't?" Andy said. "Huh?" I didn't answer. "That's right… nothing. The only reason you even know Shaun is me. Gem, we've been friends forever and the only reason I didn't tell you, the only reason this whole thing began is because I want things to stay that way. I love you and yeah I want to be more than your friend but I don't want to lose you. I've watched Shaun and you together for so long and I've tried to be happy for you but I can't be. Shaun doesn't care about you."  
>"What are you saying? He's bored with me?"<br>"Well, yeah I guess." He said, more calmly now. "Think about it. If he really loved you would he have hurt you the other day? No. He wouldn't have been able to because he loves you too much to hurt you. Even you must've realised that things aren't the same between you and Shaun lately."  
>"Well, yeah, because we're older now and-<br>"Exactly, you've grown apart, Gem. Shaun doesn't love you now."  
>"Yeah but I loved him."<br>"You _loved_ him?"  
>"Well, we're not together anymore."<br>"You believed that?" Said a different voice… Shaun's voice.  
>Shaun was leaning against the door frame one hand clutching something firmly. "How much of that did you hear?" I asked him.<br>"Oh, I heard all of it."  
>"Shaun-<br>"Oh yeah, you're sorry now."  
>"No." I said firmly, deciding that I wanted Andy more than Shaun; a decision that could change my life. "I'm not. What I said was true."<br>"Fine," Shaun said calmly. "I came to apologise but you probably don't want to hear it."  
>"No I don't. Andy's right, you don't care… you're such a jerk sometimes."<br>"Yeah, because a jerk really would've bought you this."

Shaun opened his hand and a tiny blue ring box fell out. The silence in the room was so tense; I heard it hit the ground. Shaun looked at me once more, I expected to see tears in his eyes but there were none. He turned and left. I looked at Andy.  
>"You shouldn't have done that."<br>"I wanted to." I told him.  
>"Pass it here." He said and I glanced over at the box. I walked over and picked it up, handing it to Andy.<br>He examined it. "Hmm."  
>"Can I open it?" I asked.<br>"Yeah, sure."  
>I took the box from him and opened the lid carefully. There was nothing in there except three words scrawled on the inside of the lid; <em>I loved you. <em>I should've thought that this was sweet, but I didn't. "Jerk." I said coldly.

After Andy went to sleep that night I went to see Shaun. I couldn't believe him. When I approached Mrs Diviney's front door I wondered if she'd be awake and then I remembered that she usually went out on Friday night. Shaun was the only one home and he would probably be awake, so I knocked as loud as I could hoping that if Shaun was asleep I'd wake him up.  
>"What do you want?" Shaun asked as he opened the door.<br>"I want talk to you."  
>"About what?"<br>"About this." I held up the ring box. "Is this your idea of a joke?"  
>"No it isn't," He said. "It's my idea of revenge."<br>"Jerk." I spat. I heard footsteps in the hallway and then a blonde girl appeared and put her arms around Shaun who returned the gesture.  
>She looked me up and down. "What," she asked. "Are you?" <p>


	7. Starting to Heal

"_I_ am Gemma." I told her. "And I'm leaving."  
>"Good," She sneered. "Go."<br>"Bitch." I said and turned to leave.

When I got up to the hospital Andy was sitting up in bed with a cup of crushed ice looking worried.  
>"You okay?" I asked him.<br>"I woke up and you were gone." He told me, his voice full of concern.  
>"I had to give Shaun his "present" back."<br>"Ha, you don't look impressed," Andy laughed. "You must have met Brooke."  
>"Yeah," I said, "I think so."<br>"Poor you."  
>"I guess, so anyway… are <em>you<em> okay."  
>"Yeah," I said. "The nurse came in and saw me awake so she gave me this cup of …ice."<br>"You sound disappointed,"  
>"I can't complain; it's better than lemonade and apple juice."<br>"GROSS!" I almost yelled.  
>"Gem! Quiet," Andy hissed. "We are in a hospital you know."<br>"Yeah," I said, "Sorry about that."  
>"Hey, it's okay, just don't do it again, okay?"<br>"No, not for that… I mean the reason you're in here is me."  
>"No, the reason that I'm in here is because I was stupid. I am stupid, you should know that."<br>"But I like your stupidness."  
>"Ha." Andy chuckled. "Now go to sleep."<br>"Okay," Then a thought struck me. "Hey, Andy… can I go and see Bradie tomorrow?"  
>"Yeah sure,"<p>

The next day after Andy ate his breakfast (I actually knew what it was… toast!) I went to visit Bradie. I had to ask him about Brooke, he knew her, she was one of the popular girls at school. She didn't seem like the type of girl Shaun would usually date. I wondered why he was with her?

"Hey, again." Bradie opened the door for me and I stepped over the threshold.  
>"Hey, stranger," I greeted him, "Your Mum home?"<br>"You really came to see my Mum?"  
>"No, but I was wondering…so is she?"<br>"Nah, don't be silly it's Saturday."  
>"Ha," I giggled. "Yvonne is quite a shop-a-holic, isn't she?"<br>"Yeah," Bradie agreed. "But I could live with that if she ever bought me anything."  
>"Hey, she bought you that… thing ... you know the one she called a t-shirt."<br>"Ha, ha I'll rephrase that I could live with that if she ever bought me anything half decent."  
>"Yeah, so anyway I need to ask you a few questions."<br>"Yeah, anything."  
>"Well, you know Brooke right?"<br>"Yeah, Brooke… the blonde one who hangs out with Katie and that."  
>"Yeah, her… did you know about her and Shaun."<br>"Yeah… that's weird I agree. Shaun would never have gone out with her a few weeks ago."  
>"That's what I wanted to ask you… why would he go out with her? I mean you know her right?"<br>"Yeah, 'course. We were best friends in Primary School."  
>"Well, what type of person is she?"<br>"Hm, to put it nicely-  
>"Screw being nice, I just want to know about her."<br>"Well, she's a popular girl… a stereotypical popular girl. You know what I mean right?"  
>"Yeah, I used to be one of them." I shuddered. I hated those girls.<br>"Why, anyway?"  
>"She just-she gets on my nerves."<br>"Brooke gets on everyone's nerves sometimes."  
>"Apparently not Shaun's though."<br>"Oh, I bet Shaun's really regretting dumping you for her."  
>"I don't care –he can suffer, he's the reason that Andy's hurt."<br>"Gem, you can't blame Shaun for that."  
>"Well, I guess not."<br>"Hey, anyway. We've got this new song anyway… you wanna hear it."  
>"Yeah sure, what's it called?"<br>"Tell you in a sec, 'K."  
>"Sure."<p>

And Bradie set off down the hall to get his guitar. Bradie, Andy and Shaun played in a band called Short Stack. Bradie was the drummer but he could also play guitar and keyboard. Shaun was their lead singer and guitarist and Andy (you guessed it) played bass. They had a few bits and pieces of songs that Shaun had written but this was their first whole song.  
>"Back." Bradie sat down on his chair and leant his guitar against his knee, rummaging around in his pockets. "Where's my pick?"<br>"Here," I reached into my pocket and extracted a twenty cent piece.  
>"Thanks," He said. "It's not a pick, but it'll do."<br>"I use it all the time, Andy said they're very useful."  
>"Ha, yeah he uses one too, I think." Bradie said, clearly thinking hard. "Anyway, it's called Princess." But before Bradie could strum the first few chords his phone vibrated and skittered across the table, almost falling off the edge. He picked it up and answered it, putting it to speakerphone. "Hey,"<br>"_Hey is Gem there?_" Said the voice on the other end. I recognised it as Andy's.  
>"Yeah I'm here," I said.<br>_"Oh, hey, I must be on speaker."  
><em>"Yeah, you are… what's up."  
>"<em>They said I can go."<br>_"Oh, that's great. Me and Bradie can come pick you up and you can stay here with us for a while."  
><em>"Cool, if Bradie doesn't mind."<br>_"I'm cool with that," Bradie told him. "I'm showing Gem our new song."  
>"Be there in ten, Andy."<br>_See you then, bye."_

Bradie and I drove down to the hospital to see a very happy Andy sitting out the front in his pyjamas. I smiled at him as we pulled up out the front and climbed in the back seat.  
>"Feeling better?" Bradie asked.<br>"Loads," said Andy. "Now I can go back to eating normal food." Everybody laughed. "So what do you think of the song?"  
>"I haven't heard it," I told him, "You rang just as Bradie was about to play it."<br>"Well, you'll hear it soon," He said. "We're going to play it at Christmas."  
>"Oh my goodness, Christmas is three weeks away and I haven't even bought presents."<br>"Which Christmas?" Bradie asked.

Andy's dad's side of the family were Danish so they celebrated Danish Christmas on Christmas Eve and then Andy celebrated normal Christmas with his mum.  
>"Umm, I didn't think of that… normal Christmas I 'spose."<br>"Makes sense…"  
>"And," Said Bradie, "We're playing a gig in Sydney next weekend."<br>"Yeah, I almost forgot about that."  
>"Ooh, can I come."<br>"Sure," said Bradie.  
>"It'll be good for you two to make it up to make it up to Shaun."<br>"I guess we've been a little harsh on him," Andy said.


	8. Picking Up The Pieces  Again

The following weekend at almost the same time, we were in a Sydney club I couldn't even pronounce the name of and I was sitting backstage while the boys were doing sound check. Shaun had been avoiding me at all costs, like I was carrying some infectious disease or something. I didn't intend to talk to him but I knew that I might have to soon. Andy and Bradie were getting along with him just fine, they were even being friendly and acting like best friends again; I was happy for them but I knew that everything wasn't all better yet. Shaun was convinced that me and Andy were going out, which we weren't; that was totally ridiculous.  
>"Hey, Gem?" I jumped and whirled around.<br>"Yeah," It was JumpNow.  
>"Shaun wants me to tell you-<br>"Oh hell no, we are not doing this –if Shaun has something to say to me he can say it to my face!"  
>JumpNow seemed surprised. "'K, sure."<p>

So sure enough after the show as everyone was packing things up, Shaun slipped away from the chaos and confronted me. "Er- hey."  
>This was really awkward; I hated awkward silences. "What?" I spat. "What did you want before."<br>"Well, I thought you might wanna know that…" He trailed of.  
>"What?"<br>"Oh, never mind,"  
><em>"What?" <em>I was angry, tired and sick of secrets.  
>"Well, me and Brooke broke up."<br>I folded my arms. "Oh, really when?"  
>"After you came around to give me back the box."<br>"And I care because…"  
>"Well, I thought that maybe… maybe we could make up."<br>"Oh, haha very funny,"  
>"Whatever," Shaun said. "I'll just go."<br>He turned away and I had the sudden urge to upset him, badly, "You think just because you dumped her, you can have me back?"  
>Shaun turned back to face me, now a few paces away. "But-<br>"No buts. It was never about her Shaun; it was about Andy."  
>"Andy's a jerk, he keeps secrets from you."<br>I exploded; Andy hadn't done anything wrong. "YOU'RE THE JERK!"  
>Everyone in the room turned to stare at us. Shaun turned and walked away as fast as he could. Andy just looked at me and shook his head as if I'd done something wrong.<p>

Shaun was very unlike himself during the show. He just didn't seem to want to be there. Maybe what I'd said had really hurt him. I began to feel guilty and then realised that I was angry at him. It was his fault; he shouldn't have tried. I was insulted that he thought I could forgive him for that! Andy had almost died because of Shaun.

But, weeks passed and nobody said a word about what our argument. Andy didn't speak to me though, which worried me… until one night. I was getting ready to turn in when there was a knock at the door. I rushed downstairs to open it. It was Andy; he was soaking wet from the rain; Andy didn't own a car, he must have walked here. "Come in," I told him opening the door.  
>Andy stepped over the threshold but didn't move. "Er- I'm soaking,"<br>"I see that," I grinned, "Have a seat."  
>Andy sat and I made him coffee. "So, er- what's up?"<br>"Well, I wanted to talk to you about… about Shaun."  
>"Oh, is he okay?" I sat beside Andy with my own coffee.<br>"Um, yeah, he's fine… just he's been talking about you,"  
>"What? To who?"<br>Andy stared at the wall behind me. "Everyone," Andy chuckled, "He's trying to make all of Budgewoi hate you."  
>"Not gonna happen," I said, chuckling, "In case he hasn't noticed I have friends."<br>"Yeah, I know," Andy smiled. "I just wanted to let you know."  
>"Well, thanks," I said. I wanted to say something else… but what?<br>"But, you know," I looked at Andy, I knew what was coming. "What you said to Shaun really hurt him, you know."  
>I scoffed. "Well, if the truth hurts him, he needs to get a life."<br>"Gem, I'm serious," Andy said in an annoyed sort of way.  
>"Oh my god, Andrew, who's side are you on? One minute you hate Shaun and the next you're best friends."<br>"We are," Andy said shortly. "We always have been and I'm not gonna let some stupid disagreement come between us."  
>"What? <em>Disagreement?<em>" I gaped at Andy… was I really hearing this, "You could've died because of him!"  
>"That wasn't Shaun's fault! It was mine; how dare you blame him for that!"<br>"Andy," I was angry now but I was trying to be calmer.  
>"What?" He said angrily and then something dawned on me,<br>"Does this mean… you don't- I mean…what happened… do you love me?"  
>"Of course I do; you're my best friend, but-<br>I cut him off. "Best friend? _Best friend? _I'm sorry… I just thought you know after you _kissed _me, maybe things had changed. But no, stupid me… why would I think that?" I yelled sarcastically.  
>Andy opened his mouth to speak but I cut him off again, I was wild with anger and I was trying hard to blink back tears. "No! Just get out!"<br>"Gem, I-  
>"Get out!" I pushed Andy away.<br>"Gem, I n-  
>"Get out now or I'll call the police!"<br>"GEMMA!" I was shocked into silence. When Andy spoke again he spoke softer. "Can I talk now?"  
>"Yeah," I felt really stupid now.<br>Andy cut straight to the point. "I have a girlfriend."  
>"A- what?"<br>"Well, not really, but I met this girl and I think I love her."  
>"Oh, really," I folded my arms pretending to be angry but really I was hurt. "When?"<br>"What?"  
>"When'd you meet her?"<br>"A while ago," He grinned. "She's pretty and funny and-  
>"SHUT UP!" I screamed and stormed upstairs leaving Andy all alone downstairs.<p>

I must have fallen asleep because when I woke up I was in bed. But, the thing was that I didn't remember going to bed. I sat up and blinked. Then, I noticed a note on the table. It read:  
><em>Goodbye.<br>Andy.  
><em>I just stared at the two words for a while and then something hit me. Andy and I never said goodbye. Ever. Andy had told me that you only ever say goodbye if you're never going to see that person again… this could only mean one thing.  
>"Crap!" <p>


	9. Christmas Shopping

Without even checking what I was wearing I dashed downstairs and out to my car in record time. Not again, I thought. Please be safe Andy…. Please.

Where would he be? I'd never noticed how big Budgewoi actually was. Or maybe I was just panicking, yes, that's right. I definitely was panicking. I would try Andy's place first, I decided and then if he wasn't there…

Minutes later I pulled up in front of Andy's house and rushed inside. "Andy?" I called, "Are you here?" then realised I was stupid; if he was here, chances are he wasn't conscious. Last time I'd been lucky; I'd only left him alone for about twenty minutes but this time he'd had a whole day...

I rushed upstairs and practically kicked the door open to find Andy's room… empty. Crap, it just wasn't adding up. Where would he be? Think, I told myself; if I was Andy where would I go? Nothing came… did I even know Andy? It didn't matter, I was wasting time… Bradie's house; I'd try there next. It was a good thing Bradie's house was close because I was almost dying of panic by the time I got there. I probably got about five hundred speeding tickets on the way there. I banged furiously on the door until Bradie opened it. "Hey," I said breathlessly and hastily rushed up the hallway and ran straight into… I looked up. "Andy?" I was shocked for a minute and then it dawned on me; he was alive, he was okay. I threw my arms around Andy and fought hard not to cry.  
>"Hey," Andy said to me. "Er- you alright?"<br>"Hey? _Hey? _You scared me half to death and now all you've got to say is "Hey"?  
>"Er," Andy looked confusedly over at Bradie who returned the gesture.<br>"That note that you wrote," I explained breathlessly. "Andy, we never say goodbye, so I thought…"  
>"Oh," Andy breathed a relieved sigh, knowing I was (almost) okay. "Sorry about that. I was a bit upset… wasn't thinking straight." He mumbled.<br>"And this girl?" Now that I knew Andy was alive, I wanted answers.  
>"Never mind about her…. I shouldn't have told you that."<br>"You think?" Bradie spoke for the first time.  
>"Look, it doesn't matter," Andy told me. "Let's just stop fighting and be friends okay?"<br>I didn't want to just be friends but I found myself defeated and settled with a mere, "Okay."  
>"You had breakfast?" Bradie asked me.<br>"No," I told him, "But I don't eat breakfast."  
>"You should," He grinned and I followed him and Andy towards the kitchen, "So anyway, you done your Christmas shopping yet?"<br>"OH CRAP!" I said a little too loudly. "I totally forgot!"  
>"Well, I did mine the other day,"<br>"Really?" Andy was suddenly interested. "What'd you get me."  
>"Who says I bought you anything… pancakes?"<br>"Not until you tell me what you bought me,"  
>"Oh come on Andy," I said, "It wouldn't be a surprise then."<br>"I hate surprises," Andy said moodily.  
>"Oh fine, I got you a gift card," Bradie shook his head. "You are so hard to buy for."<br>"What gives you that idea?"  
>"You never ever tell me what you want."<br>"Whatever, so what'd you buy her," Andy jerked a thumb at me.  
>"Oh, Andy," I said, "Don't be silly, Bradie doesn't have to buy me anything."<br>"Yeah, I do," Said Bradie "And I did."  
>He and Andy exchanged glances. "We all put in for something," Andy smiled. "Me, Bradie, Shaun and JumpNow."<br>"You didn't have t-  
>"But we did and you're gonna love it."<p>

*  
>Christmas shopping was difficult. I'd made a list of people but there was a problem. I didn't know what any of them would like. So far I'd bought Michelle a knife block, she loved to cook. I'd bought Kylie a set of towels and Yvonne a block of chocolate (she was lucky to even be getting that). Now I had to buy Shaun something… I knew him well but…<p>

I gazed around the music shop, there were so many things I could buy for the boys but nothing I could afford. So I left and looked desperately around for something else before giving in and going home.

My shopping trip lasted a few days then, finally on the 23rd I figured I'd better get something. I'd start with Bradie I decided. He was nice and easy to buy for. I bought him a spider man t-shirt and a pair of jeans… not much but it was something.

That left Andy, Shaun and JumpNow. Shaun next, I decided. After being such a jerk to Andy he barely deserved anything but Christmas was all about giving and I couldn't let him miss out. I bought Shaun clothes also. I bought him this jacket that I fell in love with, but it was so expensive that I couldn't afford anything else for him.

Next was JumpNow. He would never ever be ungrateful to me which is why I wanted to buy him something good. But, I was a crappy shopper so he got a $50 iTunes voucher and a cover for his iPod. I was just thinking about what to buy Andy when I walked bang into him. Speak of the devil.  
>"Hey," he said, "Last minute shopping?"<br>"Only one more person buy for," I nodded shoving my list out of the way.  
>"Who?"<br>"Not telling."  
>"Aw, you're no fun."<br>"Ha, I know."  
>"Well, see you." Said Andy.<br>"Bye,"

And I walked away from him now with a burning desire to buy him something special. Andy really meant a lot to me especially these days. I thought and thought but nothing came to mind. So, I bought myself a coffee and sat down to think among the many other last-minute shoppers.

Absent-mindedly I reached up and brushed my fringe out of my face. I need a hair-cut, I thought and then it struck me. I was always complaining about Andy's hair. It annoyed me how messy it was. So, I thought maybe if I bought him something for it he'd do something with his hair.

I gathered up my many bags of shopping and set off towards the hair dressers where I bought Andy the best hair straightener I could find and some hair spray. Merry Christmas, Andy I thought as I set off towards home, glad to be free of the shopping.


	10. Danish Christmas

I finished wrapping Michelle's present and admired my handiwork. I had three neatly wrapped presents and four boxes all tied with a different coloured ribbon and a homemade gift label.  
>"Nice," I whirled around.<br>Bradie was standing in the doorway. "Hey Bradie!"  
>"Hey," he said. "Merry Christmas."<br>I looked around at him; he was eyeing his box curiously. "No," I said. "Not until tomorrow."  
>"Aw, you're such a Scrooge."<br>"No, I'm not because Mr Scrooge wouldn't have even bought presents."  
>"Who's Mr Scrooge anyway?"<br>"You don't read much, do you Bradie?"  
>"I read!" He said indignantly.<br>I scoffed. "Yeah, Spider Man comics."  
>"They count!"<br>"Sure, whatever."  
>"Um, anyway, I just er- wanted to tell you that Shaun said-<br>"What? He can't speak for himself?"  
>"Gem, listen," Bradie told me, "Shaun said that her wasn't coming to Christmas dinner tomorrow. He's going to Brooke's house."<br>"Oh," I said coldly. "And why do I need to know."  
>"Well, didn't he tell you he broke up with her?"<br>I dawned on me, "Yeah, he did. At that club. He wanted to get back together remember?"  
>Bradie just looked at me.<br>"So, why would he say that."  
>"One of two things," Bradie said, "Either he wants to cause trouble, therefore making you look bad or-<br>"He wants to make sure I can't have you,"  
>Andy was standing in the doorway behind Bradie. "I came to say the same thing."<br>"What do you mean Andy?"  
>"He doesn't want us to be together because he still loves you."<br>"I don't understand."  
>Bradie spoke now, "He's hurt, Gem. People think Shaun's all tough and crap, you know, he's got a reputation to protect."<br>"So?"  
>"So," said Andy, "Being with Brooke is a cover-up. He's trying to make it come across like he doesn't care about you anymore and he's already got a new girlfriend."<br>"Yeah," Bradie chuckled, "Big, tough Shaun. He hasn't got us fooled. He wants you Gem, badly."  
>"And he thinks that he's gonna lose you to me." A smile spread across Andy's face.<br>"That's ridiculous." I said.  
>"Ridiculous," Bradie echoed, "But true."<br>"Andy doesn't feel that way about me," I just couldn't bring myself to lie about my feelings for Andy so I said nothing on my behalf.  
>"Yeah," said Andy icily staring at me as though he was going to cry, "I don't love you at all." And he turned to leave through the still open doorway.<p>

I felt really guilty about saying that to Andy, so later that night I went around to Kylie's house and placed the presents under the tree (we always had our Christmas party there) and then I set off towards Andy's uncles house where their Danish Christmas party was in full swing. I wanted, no, needed, to see Andy.

Upon approaching the door I heard many happy voices and a lot of laughter. I hoped Andy was alright. I knocked loudly so I could be heard and after a brief wait, Yvonne opened the door.  
>"Hello," she said looking at me as though I were dirt.<br>"Can I come in please." I asked, ignoring this rudeness.  
>"Why? You haven't been invited have you?"<br>"No, but I need to see Andy?"  
>"Oh, do you then?"<br>"Yes,"  
>"Well, I suppose you can come in,"<p>

I stepped inside. A massive Christmas tree stood in large open living space that encompassed a kitchen, dining room and lounge room. It was decorated with brilliant sparkling decorations and red tinsel. The Danish flag hung on the wall dividing the kitchen and lounge room.

All over Andy's family were seated around the dining table except for a few little kids playing marbles in the lounge. On the wall behind the table was a banner that read: _Glædelig Jul.  
><em>My Danish wasn't brilliant but I guessed this meant merry christmas. I scanned the people at the table. Most of them had the same wavy blonde hair and most of them had Andy's soft green eyes. Andy was sitting at the far end near a woman I assumed to be his Grandmother and a girl his age with long hair, presumably one of his cousins. Nobody seemed to notice me.  
>"Andrew, you're wanted." Said Yvonne curtly.<br>Andy scowled at being called his full name and stood up.  
>"<em>Undskyld mig<em>," He murmered to his grandmother. She shifted her chair and Andy got up and came towards us.  
>Yvonne took her place at the table and Andy said to me in a low voice. "What are you doing here?"<br>"I wanted to er- say sorry for before. I seemed to have upset you."  
>"Oh, don't worry about that, I took it badly I'm sorr-<br>"Andrew," We both turned. A woman had turned to face us. She had long brown hair and Andy's green eyes. She spoke good english but had a thick Danish accent. "Does your girlfriend want something to eat."  
>"Oh, she's not-er- we're not together,"<br>"Oh, really," said his grandmother, she also had an accent though not quite as thick. "Shame. She seems nice."  
>"Come on," said the first woman. "Have a seat."<br>"Er-  
>I looked up at Andy who sighed defeatedly. "Come on."<p>

So I sat, feeling very awkward, among them and dinner with them. They were all very friendly but the language barrier was driving me insane. The girl next to Andy kept saying. " Hej, mit navn er Rochelle, hvordan har du det?" But I had no idea what that meant so I said hey and turned to Andy.

After dinner I made to leave but Andy insisted I stay, so I sat in the lounge with some other kids our age and we all chatted (As best we could). One girl was listening to her iPod and singing; _Bare er ligeglad, håber du drop dead gorgeous. _I recognised the tune as Short Stack's Drop Dead Gorgeous but it sounded very different in Danish. I ended up staying for a while and made friends with a boy named Nicolai, who was Andy's cousin and spoke rather poor english. He gave me his email adress and after giving up on English said, "_Skriv til mig,_" Andy said this meant he wanted me to write to him. I said I would and Andy told him, "_Gemma siger hun vil, men hun er min hører du?" _Nicolai laughed and said."_Ja,"_ this, I understood.

It was very late when I went home with Andy, to his place.


	11. More Than I Could Ever Ask For

I rolled over feeling drowsy and my hand hit something solid. Warm and solid. I opened my eyes blearily and saw Andy sitting up in bed beside me. "Merry Christmas," he told me.  
>"Merry- wait."<br>"What?"  
>"Why am I in bed with you?"<br>"'Coz you fell asleep on my knee last night."  
>I blushed, "Really?"<br>"Well, that and I really needed some company."  
>"But I thought I wasn't your girlfriend."<br>"You are now," Andy said and he kissed me tenderly. "Merry Christmas, sweetheart."  
>"Merry Christmas, Andy." I cuddled him and was suddenly conscious that he wasn't wearing a shirt.<br>"Andy-  
><em>Knock, knock. "<em>Come in," Andy said.  
>Michelle opened the door and stepped inside. "Ooh," she said when she saw my arms around Andy. She had been asleep when we came home. "Am I interrupting something?"<br>"Oh, no," I said, releasing Andy.  
>"Did something happen?" She asked.<br>"Er- no," Said Andy awkwardly.  
>"Well, anyway," She said looking slightly disappointed. "Get up and get dressed we're going around to Kylie's."<br>"Already," Andy rubbed his eyes.  
>"Um, yeah, it's eleven o'clock."<br>"Crap," Andy yawned and stretched.  
>"I need to go home and get-<br>"I bought you some clothes," She held up a green bag, "They're here."  
>"Er- thanks."<p>

Michelle left. Andy stood and rummaged around in his cupboard. Then said, "I'm having a shower,"  
>"Um, okay," I yawned and stretched too and when Andy left I pulled on my clothes and went downstairs.<br>"Breakfast?" Michelle asked when I entered the kitchen.  
>"No thank you," I said, "I don't eat breakfast."<p>

*  
>We arrived at Kylie's to find everyone there already. Shaun, JumpNow, his mum; Mandi, Kylie, Shaun's dad; Tim, Bradie and Yvonne. We all ate a breakfast of pancakes and bacon &amp; eggs then, we opened our presents. Kylie gave me some chocolates and Michelle gave me a necklace. The boys said they'd give my present last. I suddenly felt excited and wondered for the first time what it could be.<p>

But never mind that now it was time to give out my presents. I hadn't bought anything for Mandi. I felt guilty. I rummaged around under the tree and pulled out the first box, reading the gift label I handed it to JumpNow, "JumpNow, this is yours."  
>"Aw, thanks, Gem," he kissed my cheek and said, "You really didn't have to."<br>I smiled, "It's Christmas," I said and pulled out the next box. "Bradie, this one's yours."  
>"Thanks," he mumbled.<br>"No worries and I pulled out Yvonne's box. "Here." I thrust it at her. She hadn't bought me anything; I hadn't expected her to. "Michelle," I handed her, her present.  
>"Aw, thanks sweetie, good thing I got this." JumpNow had finally negotiated the ribbons and opened his iTunes voucher. He held up a brand new iPod touch.<br>"Thanks, Gem." Bradie said again, folding his clothes and placing them neatly beside him with his other presents.  
>"I needed these, thanks." Michelle told me, kissing my cheek in a very motherly way.<br>"Er- no worries," I pulled out the next present. "Kylie," I handed it to her.  
>"Thank you, Gemma," said Kylie.<br>"That leaves… Shaun," I handed him his, "And Andy." I handed him his.  
>He opened it, for a second he and Michelle exchanged awkward looks and then he said, "Thanks sweetie!" and ruffled my hair, kissing my cheek. He looked a little guilty… or disappointed maybe? I didn't know.<br>"Don't you like it?" My heart sank, I'd tried to buy Andy something special…  
>"It's great," He smiled unconvincingly. "I really do like it."<br>"OK, then," I said. "If you say so."  
>I now realised Shaun, JumpNow and Bradie had disappeared and as Andy sat his hair straightener on his pile of presents, they appeared at the foot of the stairs. Bradie was carrying a guitar case and Shaun was carrying a box…<br>"Surprise," said Shaun, sitting the box beside me, it looked heavy. Bradie put down the guitar case.  
>"What is this?" I asked.<br>"Open it," Bradie told me.

I did and what I saw amazed me. This was a Gibson Les Paul guitar. It was a really good one and they were expensive. I suddenly felt I should've tried harder with my Christmas shopping. "Guys," I picked it up. I now knew what was in the box. It was an amp. "I can't take this."  
>"Why?" said Bradie.<br>"Well, I mean, I'm not and overly good guitarist anyway and this is expensi-  
>"Forget about the money," Andy had come to sit beside me. "We wanted you to have it… and besides we got it cheap off a friend of ours."<br>"Then," I said. "Shaun should have it. I don't need this."  
>"Yes you do," said JumpNow. He closed the guitar case and sat it and the box in the corner.<br>"Fine," I turned to Andy, "I'm going to put the presents in the car."  
>"'K," He handed me his presents.<p>

I opened the back door of the car, sat the presents on the other side and sat in the car with my feet on the gutter, feeling bad. I was crying now and I didn't care who saw me. Then, I felt a hand on my shoulder. I looked up.  
>"Hey," Andy was standing over me.<br>"Hi," I said chokily.  
>"What's up?" Andy sat on the gutter near my feet.<br>"I'm a horrible girlfriend. I haven't even been with you three hours and I've already upset you."  
>"What? I'm not upset."<br>"Don't pretend, Andy." I sobbed. "You didn't want that hair straightener."  
>"Baby, it's not that I don't like it." He looked guilty. "It's just… I bought myself that hair straightener a couple of days ago."<br>"Oh," I sobbed some more. "But, that's not the point. I wanted to buy you something really special because…" I trailed off.  
>"Hey," Andy reached up and grabbed my hand. "You just being here is special enough."<br>I cried as hard as ever. "But still, you bought me that guitar and I know that it was really expensive…you could've used that money for something – something important."  
>"Gem," I looked at Andy, he was staring straight at me. "You are important."<br>Andy picked me up and closed the car door. "Come on, let's go inside." 


	12. Elijah Joseph Webb

Everything settled down for a while. Andy and I were together but I wasn't sure I still liked him…

_Knock, Knock.  
><em>  
>Yvonne opened the door. "Hey,"<br>"Hello," she said curtly.  
>"Is Elijah home?"<br>"Yes," she said suspiciously and stood aside to let me in. She had every right to be suspicious I mean, I was spending more time with Bradie's fifteen year old brother then I was with my own boyfriend. Why, you ask? I'll tell you why. Because Elijah Joseph Webb was so freaking gorgeous, we were friends but I knew I wanted to be way more than that. The only problem was A; he was Bradie's brother and being with him could mean a whole lot of awkward. B; I already had a boyfriend and after all Andy and I had been through I didn't want to break his heart. And C; He was three years younger than me, which by my standards is way too young. So here I was; in an awkward situation that (little did I know) was about to get a whole lot more awkward.

As I climbed the stairs I met Bradie who was packing away washing. "He's in his room," Bradie said, knowing full well that I was here to see Elijah. At the end of the hall, I knocked on Elijah's door. No answer. I knocked again and then pushed it open slightly.  
>"Oh my god, get out!" A girl yelled at me but before I could see who it was, a pillow hit me square in the nose.<br>"I- uh,"  
>"Hey Gem," Elijah came over and hugged me, I was aware of the lipstick on his cheek, but his casual attitude suggested that <em>he<em> wasn't.  
>"Who are you?" It was the girl from before who spoke, she had long wavy brown hair that ended in ringlets and blue eyes that glared at me suspiciously. Oh crap, I'd interrupted something.<br>And then it sunk in, Elijah had a girlfriend. I felt so stupid. "Um, I'm Gem,"  
>"She's my friend," Elijah said happily. That was him; always so bright and happy… and small. He was about Andy's height with copper hair like Christofer Drew and brown eyes like Bradie's <em>and <em>he was so thin. "Gem, this is Georgi," He motioned to the girl, "Georgi, this is Gem."  
>"Oh," she said, "I get it. Well, I'll just go," she turned away and then returned with a bag, then pushed past me and added coldly, "You should've told me you had other plans."<br>Elijah and I stood and stared at each other for a good few minutes and I felt the threats of tears in my eyes. "Oh- oh god," I choked. "I'm so, so sorry. I had no idea and-  
>"Yeah, I get it," And he slammed the door in my face.<p>

I felt so stupid. I needed to talk to someone and tell the whole truth. But who could I tell that wouldn't kill me? Bradie definitely would; Elijah was his brother. I didn't speak to Shaun, barely trusted JumpNow and Andy was my boyfriend. Enough said. I weighed my options for a while then turned slowly away from the door and left the house.

"Hey, Michelle, is Andy home?"  
>"Yeah, I think he's in his room," Michelle stared at me with her kindly green eyes, "Is something up sweetie?"<br>She'd seen that I'd been crying. I decided to tell the truth; I was gonna need all the practice I could get. "Yeah, but I have to talk to Andy about it."  
>"Oh, okay,"<p>

A few moments later I knocked on Andy's door, this time there was an answer; "Come in,"  
>I did. "Hey, sweet- oh, god, what's wrong?" Seeing the tears, Andy rushed to my side. "Is everything okay?"<br>"Almost, I just- Andy I haven't been entirely honest with you these past few months,"  
>"What do you mean, we tell each other everything."<br>"Almost," I sniffled and wiped my eyes on my sleeve, "Do you remember Elijah?"  
>"Bradie's little bro, yeah of course, why?" Andy raised an eyebrow at me.<br>"Well, I kind of like him… a lot," I stared up at Andy, "Is that bad?"  
>"Of course not, I mean you can't really help it…"<br>"Andy, today I went to visit him and I – I walked in on him and his girlfriend and I didn't even know he had a girlfriend and…"  
>"And what, it's okay, you can tell me," Andy put a comforting arm around my shoulder.<br>"Now he hates me and I like him more than ever, but I'm with you and I still love you…"  
>"Well, then why don't you talk to him about it?"<br>"He won't talk to me,"

There was an awkward silence. Andy was acting brave, but I knew that he felt confused, scared and lost. He was probably panicking about losing me and that made me feel bad.  
>"Sweetie, he' so much younger than you,"<br>"I know, I know," I had stopped crying now. "I'm just so confused."  
>"Well, why don't you stay with me tonight and we'll sort it out in the morning.<p>

Before I even opened my eyes the following morning, I heard the doorbell ring, Michelle answered it, "Hey, Elijah,"  
>"Hey, umm is Gem here,"<p>

_Elijah! _I practically jumped out of bed and threw whichever clothes I could find on, including Andy's jumper. Beside me, Andy had done the same so that by the time Elijah reached Andy's room, Andy was brushing my hair innocently.

There was an extremely awkward pause as Elijah stood in the doorway, looking at us. His eyes were red and puffy from crying and he looked very tired. I felt so bad. My stomach twisted into a thousand knots…  
>"Hi," Andy said.<br>"Hey, er," he stared from me to Andy and finally addressed the floor, "Can I talk to Gem please? It's quite important."  
>I stared at Andy waiting for him to react but when he didn't I was left with no choice. "Yeah,"<p> 


End file.
